Good Deeds

Have you ever had an encounter  in a public place where you overheard a conversation and the information being passed along was incorrect? Last night while riding the train home, one of those moments happened.

My inner voice struggled for a  moment on whether to inform the people that they did in fact need to switch trains or they would be going the complete wrong direction.

In the past, while at the grocery store or any other public place I probably would have struggled for a moment and decided that I needed to stop being a BIG BUDINSKI and mind my own business. So I would turn the corner or walk away. ALWAYS and I do mean ALWAYS, I would think about the situation later and wonder to myself why I didn’t take the time to help.  Those are the moments in my life I regret. I was given the chance to help someone and I passed on that opportunity.

This time I acted! I let the riders know that they did need to change trains and I felt good about it. I saved them an hour or so detour at midnight.

So this is my PSA to all: when that little voice comes into your head and says give that advice, correct that stranger with the bad directions, help that old lady reach the top shelf . Do it! It may not always work out as it did for me last night, but you won’t be regretting not doing that good deed in the future!

Perfect Job

I am currently in the market for a new position in Denver. I see myself working at a company that is youthful not in appearance but in attitude. The people that surround me are educated, tactful, funny and most of all different in their own ways. Oh yes, I also require that there be more than 2 people in that office!  I want to walk into work in the morning and feel refreshed not because I took a shower that morning but because of the place I work. Checking my e-mail, reading the paper, checking up on blogs and fresh ideas are daily if not ritualistic.

Every day it should be a requirement to learn something new. I want to be called out for my mistakes but then shown how to change them. I need to be challenged every day. The things I learned in college will be put to good use at this job. I will need to consult old textbooks and readings.

The atmosphere will be welcoming, not stuffy. Eager but not anxious. Exciting but not high school cheerleader at a Senior Pep Rally.  Fast-paced but not in a race car.

The actual work I’ll be doing will involve people and communicating. It could be public relations at a non-profit that benefits children or the homeless. I also wouldn’t mind if it were at an agency where I handled multiple clients’ tasks a day. I wouldn’t turn it down if it were planning events or planning weddings. Internal communications at a large company is something I wouldn’t pass on either.

If this sounds like a position in your office, please contact me, I think I might know someone who would fit it.

Searching…

At a yoga/tai chi class last night the instructor was at first so quirky that she was annoying. She grew on my slowly though just like her thought for the day…Searching. She wasn’t talking about searching for the purpose of life, that takes awhile she said.

She was talking more about searching for the strength to complete the poses, searching for concentration, searching for what you wanted to accomplish in the class.

At the very end while placing her thumbs over her third eye, she touched me with a thought provoking statement. “Don’t get lost in the frustration of the search.”

It was so powerful because recently I have felt trapped, frustrated and confused and I couldn’t understand what was causing these feelings. When she said that I realized where the feelings were coming from. I am searching. I am searching for what I want to do in life, my purpose in life, where should I be at 23 years old and why am I here. Within the search for these complicated things I have gotten frustrated. I wasn’t getting the answers I wanted or any answers at all. The fact of the matter is getting frustrated with the search will not do any good. The search is the journey that I have been looking for. All along it was right there, I was already in it!

One of the last great things Kat from 24 hour said last night was that ” If you think you are lost, you are not, you are searching.” Thank you Kat for an inspiring hour!

Slow Down

Slow Down 

It took the great oak many years

To grow so tall and strong;

And from its teachings we should learn

That swiftness is all wrong.

The hurried pace that tenses nerves

And leads to lack of sleep

Will jog us down the race of time

With not a friend to keep.

If we could learn to just slow down

And wallow through the day,

‘Mid flower beds and spider webs

And children drenched in play;

If we’d take time to give a smile

In payment for a frown;

We all might find a better world

If we’d, in fact, slow down.

Lying Sucks!

Lying. It ruins relationships, people and lives.

Why do people feel the need to lie?

 I learned something at a young age when in the process of lying to my mother, lying gets you nowhere. Absolutely nowhere. I would tell my mom I was going somewhere and would go someplace else, but she knew. She always knew, maybe mother’s intuition, but she knew. I didn’t learn to quickly, so when I grew up and wouldn’t tell my mom the whole truth, I had this icky feeling in my stomach. As soon as I confessed and told her everything I felt better. It’s the same with friends and relationships; I have always felt better when telling the truth.

When my boyfriend and I first started dating he went off to Australia and I had a crazy night out with a friend. We went out and had way too many shots bought for us by our new guy friends. I ended up drunkenly kissing one of them and remembered it the next day thanks to my friends. I was horrified and knew I had to tell my future boyfriend. The moment he returned, I told him. It was the best thing I ever did, because from that moment it started a trusting relationship.

A certain person I know lies about everything and I mean everything under the sun. He will lie about his whereabouts for NO reason. The fact that he lies to me hurts our relationship. I don’t trust him and won’t ever trust him. But I also have grown to dislike his lies so much that I cannot stand being around him. I’m sure he has hurt tons of his other relationships, but does he even care? Sometimes I even think that he gets satisfaction from lying. Now that is sick. It makes me wonder why he does it and why do people lie. Were they never really caught? Who let it be o.k. for them to lie for this long? Were they lied to? There are so many reasons, guesses and excuses for people to lie. But none of those should matter. The question they and the people around them should be asking is, why don’t I tell the truth?

Honesty is the best policy. You may have heard it a thousand times, but it is true. The truth can hurt and not be what you want to hear. But it can also be the best blessing.

Ambitious or Not?

The ambition hasn’t been there. To write this blog. To find a job that affects. To love what I do. To donate my time to a better cause. To keep in touch with those I miss. To eat healthier. To spend less money. 

But it has been there.  To go to the gym consistently. To spend time with him. To shop.  To be lazy. To play TyperShark when I’m not supposed to. To be involved in a book club. To cook.

So I do have ambition just not with everything I hope to have ambition for. Hopefully it will come with time is what I tell myself. But when is that time? This year, next or in 10 years? Will I be working at the same place (unhappy), doing the same things daily, with no new adventures in the horizon?

The ambition comes and goes is the best explanation. It is there for a week maybe two, but then life happens. A friend calls to go to dinner, a weekend getaway with friends is approaching and I have to work, go to the gym, the grocery store. That is great, let it happen. Let that be part of the ambition.

This definition I found describes ambition as the desire for work or activity; energy! I like it and maybe have been looking at the wrong definitions of ambition for me. This one works because it doesn’t mean living my life day to day is not ambitious. It is because it takes energy and gives me energy because I am LIVING!

Little things

Are you familiar with the book “Don’t sweat the small things”? Well, I haven’t read it but I think I get the gist. Don’t let the little things ruin your day, your mood or a good attitude.

Well sometimes that is just hard to do. Sometimes the little things get to me. They are like when you are trying to go to sleep after hours of tossing and turning and you have an itch on your leg. If you scratch your leg you know you will be rolling around for another hour. You try to sleep. But that itch! That damn itch!

The little things are like that for me. I try my hardest to ignore and let them roll right off of my back, but it is so hard. Once I feel as if that ‘little thing’ is gone, another one comes along and that ‘little thing’ from before is back too.  At times I feel as if the ‘little things’ are out to get me. Like this weekend they had a kick Ashley’s butt meeting with strategies and goals that they are succeeding at, as of now.  

For me it is not possible to not sweat the small stuff. I have tried time and time again. At times I sweat less and at times I sweat more, it’s the more that is the problem. I don’t mind sweating the small things but I don’t want to perspire through two shirts and have nasty butt sweat. (Yes, we all get it. But I don’t want it in the middle of the day when a customer yells at me or someone throws me a curveball.) So what is the solution?

Ding! A light bulb! Maybe if I write down what is bothering me and why it will help me to realize that it is just that a small thing and to not put too much thought or energy into that thing/project/situation/etc.  And for situations where a piece of paper and pen are not available, I need to think and plot things out in my head. Alas a solution, we will see if it works.

If this is a major breakthrough in the actual book, maybe I should have read the book a long time ago!